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As work picks up enthusiasm becomes my closest friend more and more. I've always liked working, especially when I can find a way to do it well. It's now all-out autumn here in Istanbul and layering is in full effect. There's rain often and the sweet sounds and scents that come with it, so my chest is alive all the more. I always love the sun and warmth of summer but I never truly stop missing autumn. I grew up in a rainy town and so the rain always reminds me of home, of childhood times, of my heart and my imagination.
new ideas
Already, after only 2 weeks, I’m kind of stuck for what to write. Part of the problem is that I’m not all that super proud of the stuff I’ve already put out there. I mean I know it’s good in some respects, but it’s kind of contrived. At least the longer stuff. Some of the sweetly felt little pieces I put out there, like the one about the rain or the little girl at the window, those I like. But the others, ehhhh… I feel I should start focusing on humorous stuff…if I can. It’s not that easy either, without being ridiculous, which is not always something readable. Still, I think I might be able to have more fun with that. That’s another part of the problem. I’m not really enjoying the writing as it is, now. I should mention though that I’m working hard at my job, or intensely, like a lot, putting in long hours…and to unwind quickly when I come home and try to write something, well, that’s proving to be not so easy, and therefore not so fun. So, maybe I would enjoy it if I
creative
I see now that there's nothing and nobody to overcome. Only something and someone to become.
I realize that "victory over self" is victory over my own thoughts, my own acceptances. There is only I am and I can. There is no struggle only decision.
I can not overcome myself, my thoughts. I can only become. I became who I am via thought, via acceptance. It's time to accept the positive, the best. It was always time. But I couldn't accept that accepting was all there was to it.
meowwww
I'm learning that wisdom is being aware of joy, even when it fades, and holding my focus on Joy's temporary distancing....like a hungry kitten without its mother...waiting for it to come back, but, with more confidence than the little kitten :).
turkish drive
I think if I was to drive a car in Istanbul I would be laughed at uncontrollably. Men would point out there cars yelling: "Look!!!!! Look at the funny foreigner! Look!!! He's driving with two hands on the wheel!!! Hahahahahaha!!
And all that man's cousins in the back of his car would stick their heads out laughing, pretending, miming the act of driving a car with two hands, with a serious focused face; and one of the cousins would be filming a video of me driving as such, and later posting it on YouTube. The original gawker would yell out more: "And look how slowly he's going! He must be at 150km/h! What a joke! Oh my god! And look,
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Do take my gold, and my fame, if you must
You can have my youth if you so do will
But do give me back my childhood showers
My little paper boat, the fresh rain's thrill...
You can have my youth if you so do will
But do give me back my childhood showers
My little paper boat, the fresh rain's thrill...